Ending Obamascreen- Ultra Liberal TSA must be privatized

Obamascreen is not working for me anymore. I am sick to death of having socialized airport screening pushed down my throat like some kind of communist plot to balloon the deficit and bankrupt America. You know what other communist plot I am sick of having to pay for? That's right; Obamabomb. The freeking' Air Force! And of course while we are at it there is Obamashoot (the Army and Marines) and the oh so commie Obamanautical (Navy and Coast Guard).

These hippie, ultra liberal, socialist programs that Obama keeps imposing on us are bankrupting America, and draining the resources of our children. Why can't we just privatize all these things and let the free markets do what they will. The Commie-Ultra Liberal Progressive Agenda is so well funded that corporate America does not stand a chance against this bunch of homosexuals pushing their godless agenda upon hundreds of millions of helpless Americans.

Thank god for Glenn Beck! This one man and his chalk board of truth have finally shown me the light, and I see it the Fox News way; all government is bad. Liberals push a big government and Liberals are bad. And the free markets need to just... run free! Free is good! But Liberals are against the free markets and ergo; against freedom!

No more police departments, the free market wants competition in the market of capturing and keeping criminals, why should the cities, counties, and states have exclusive rights to this revenue stream? Why shouldn't Wackenhut have access to this fantastically profitable activity? Cash seizures could bring in billions in profits to new private police departments; and the best part of all, there would be no more special rights for criminals (Probable cause does not apply to non government agencies – which is why you can be drug tested at work) and there would me no more need for Miranda warnings with the new private court systems.

Private courts would mean that decisions would go to the highest bidder, and the whole idea of “Activist Judges” would go away, all precedent would be a dollar and cent thing. The international boarders would be a very profitable venture for the right company. There would no doubt be a “cover charge” to visit the USA, and they could even charge residents to get back in.

We would no longer be a nation of victims, people who are raped would of course have to pay for the investigation, and those who are most likely to be a victim (the poor) would no longer show up in the statistics because they could not afford to hire police to look into the crime, making the crime un-reportable, making it never show up in crime statistics. Our nation would be a statistically safer place on the very first day of full privatization.

By letting markets decide everything, all of America (including the air) would be up for development grabs, and sale! This would be a great day for Ayn Rand and her devotees! The way air would be charged for is quite simple really, all that has to happen is to make pesky clean air legislation go away by purchasing a court decision or two, and take off expensive air pollution control devises from factories and chemical plants, and voila! Dirty air! Do you want to breathe clean air? Of course you do, we all do. And now for fifteen low payments of $19.95 you can get a breathe easy mask (and we sell replacement filters)...... how easy was that? The privatization of the air you breathe, complete with monthly subscription costs! That is the kind of air I want to breathe... private air! Who cares what happens to the air outside when you have your own disease, and carbon monoxide free air supply? Nobody.

The privatization of water and access to it, the privatization of sewage treatment, the privatization of the FDA... just think how many new miracle drugs could come on the market faster without the oppressive fist of Obamadrugapproval and the Commies at the FDA... so what if a few people have side effects and die? After all, they can't sue for much (Tort Reform) and if they do, all the company will have to do is buy a decision.

No more entitlements... your Social Security just became an ID number and you now have a worthless 401k... Medicare.... Mediocre. Now it is all going to be a slug-fest between Blue Cross, UHC and Humana.... and you can bet on a 500% rate increase every ten seconds or so, unless, of course, you purchase the optional rate protection plan that will lock your rates in for 24 hours for just $2.99 a minute plus a one time set up fee of just .99.

The police will be busy enforcing copyright infringement, and we can expect microphones to join camera coverage in public places.... you will find that calling a Puffs brand facial tissue a “Kleenex”, will bring the kind of response that used to be reserved for bank robbers.

And we could get rid of the current Burrito Supreme Court, by Taco Bell, and replace them all with what the market demands... Simon Cowell (Chief Justice), with Vince McMahon, Paula Abdul, Heidi Klum, Micheal Kors, Tim Gunn, Anna Wintour, Donald Trump, and Joan Rivers, and of course the proceedings would all be televised on pay per view.

The White House? A Marriott Hotel of course. The Pentagon? Condos. The Grand Canyon? Pre-started strip mine. Mount Rushmore? Casino. Smithsonian Museum? Christie's Auction House.

Central Park? By Disney. Government can't do anything right, nothing at all. Government is the problem (Regan said so) and Government must be privatized.... all of it.

Let's do it the Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, John McCain, Jon Kyl, John Boehner way. Let's put all these assholes out of a job and just do away with government altogether... let's privatize absolutely everything. No more government, no more taxes. Just the private market deciding absolutely everything with dollars and cents.

We need a world where there are no impediments to business at all; and the one thing that gets in the way of business is that pesky government (and their lucrative contracts, and bailouts)..... but I guess you can't have it both ways if you fix the “problem” of big government, now can you? 

The paradox of Republicans... just another day in the suburban empire.